How do you react if you aren’t being listened to?

You will have read in previous articles on here about how the art of listening is key for good communication.

But what happens when the other person doesn’t appear to be listening to you?

It can really throw your confidence and affect your ability to deliver your message.

Here are two examples of when this has happened to clients who want to be heard more at work.

One presented on a Zoom call where a colleague appeared not to be listening to them. Throughout they seemed to be speaking to someone off camera or looking to their left … and my client’s presentation suffered.

Another client had attended their first face-to-face networking event for a while and was annoyed by a new connection seemingly looking anywhere but at them as they spoke. My client made her excuses and left.

In both situations my advice is … don’t take it personally!

You may not be their focus right now … not because they aren’t interested but because something else is taking their attention. The person looking off screen may have had a minor disaster unfolding around them (particularly if they were at home). The new connection with “networker’s neck” might be waiting for their partner, colleague or lift.

It may come as a shock, but invariably you are not the centre of anyone else’s world!

And if you can, don’t be afraid to ask them if everything’s OK as they seem to be distracted, or if there’s something else on their mind. It’s not always possible, but in the case of the face-to-face conversation easier to do and it might open up the conversation, build rapport and your future relationship.

Are you occasionally guilty of assuming that you caused the other person’s inattention?

Take the pressure off yourself and unless everyone looks bored, uncomfortable, or distracted … assume it’s them, not you.